Never Alone
by gategirl
Summary: Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart. Jack's gone, but never far away. S/J ONESHOT


Author's Note: I LOVE Jack, let me make that clear right now. That being said I also couldn't ignore the angsty potential of this idea. Please forgive me, it's just something that I had to do. Read and Review.

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Sam felt the cold rush through her, her tears coming fast and hard now. _This can't be real._ She ran her hands over his uniform. Pain rushed through her and she felt her knees buckle. She sank to the floor, barely able to breathe. _He's gone._ Daniel rushed to her side, kneeling beside her. He pulled her into his arms and just held her tightly.

"He's gone Daniel," she wailed, her words coming out thick with despair. "How am I supposed to go on without him?" Sam doubled over, her entire body aching with agony. Daniel just stroked her back gently, not saying anything.

"I miss him so much," she cried, leaning back against the bed.

Daniel sat beside her, taking his hand in hers. "I know Sam," he said soothingly. "I miss him too," Daniel said, his lips tightening and his eyes tearing up. "You know, we talked about this a lot. Jack wanted to make sure you would be okay if something ever happened to him," he said softly. Daniel squeezed her hand in support.

"He wrote this a while back, just right after you two got married I think. He asked me to hold on to it, just in case." Daniel reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a long white envelope. He handed the envelope to Sam and gave her hand one last squeeze before releasing it and getting to his feet. "I'm going to give you a little privacy," he said walking to the door. He opened it and started to go out but instead turned back and said, "You're not alone Sam. I just want you to know that. We all loved him, and we all love you. And we'll be here for you, no matter what."

She watched the door close behind Daniel and felt a rush of tears fill her eyes, her heart surging with a painful wave of loneliness. She stroked the envelope in her hands, raising it to her mouth, kissing it shakily. She reached for the flap, but her hands shook so much that she couldn't manage to open it. She climbed up on the bed, their bed, tightly clutching the letter. She turned her face into his pillow, breathing in his scent, and felt the ache throb inside her again. "I miss you so much Jack," Sam whispered to the empty room.

Her fingers shook as she ripped open the envelope and unfolded the letter. Tears blurred her eyes as she recognized his familiar handwriting. She wiped them away and started reading.

_Dear Sam,_

_I wrote this letter just after we got married. In the line of work we're in I just figured, ya know, that I might need it. If you're reading this it means that I'm gone. I'm sorry, God I'm so sorry baby. I never wanted to leave you. Daniel and I spent a lot of time talking about all this, and he thinks that you'll have a hard time letting me go. I told him there was no way you'd let something like this stop you. So you've gotta do something for me Sam. Don't let Daniel be right. I don't want my death to stop you from living. I also really really don't want Daniel to be right... Smile Sam, that's an order._

_I wish I could be there for you through all this. But I since I can't I need you to do something for me. You have great friends Sam, lean on them. Let them help you through this. I know you, and I know that you think you don't need help. But baby, you do. Please, let them in. Let them help you._

_I wanted you to know that I love you sweetheart, more than I ever thought I could. When Charlie died I thought that the part of me that knew how to love died too. But then you came into my life and you made me see things differently. I loved you from the first time I saw you. I know that sounds corny and stupid, but hey what have I got to lose now? Might as well tell you the whole embarrassing truth. You saved me, in more ways than one. Your love saved me more times than I can count. You made me a better person. And I know that you might not have always been able to see that, but it's true. I don't know where I would be without you in my life. _

_Marrying you was one of the greatest days of my life. I didn't deserve you Sam. I didn't deserve the light that you brought into my life. I only hope that while I was with you I was able to give you a little of what you gave me._

_I hate leaving you like this, with only a poorly written letter filled with things I was too stubborn to tell you while I was alive. I should've said it all, you deserved to hear it from me. You deserved so much more than me Sam, and I'll never understand how I got so lucky. _

_I want you to know that you'll never be without me. I will always be with you. Do you hear me Carter? You're not getting rid of me that easily. I will love you forever._

_Forever and a day,_

_Jack_

Sam felt her shoulders shaking as his words tore their way through her. Hot tears slid down her cheeks. "Oh Jack," she cried, her voice thick with tears. "You gave me so much more than you know," she whispered, her eyes filling with fresh tears. "I don't know how to do this without you. How am I supposed to do this without you Jack?"

_You can do this Sam. _

She heard his voice echo through her.

_You're not alone._

She gasped, her heart jumping into her throat. "Jack?" She whispered. Silence filled the room and her eyes slid shut, tears flooding down her face. She pictured him sitting beside her, cradling her in his arms like he used to.

_I'm here baby._

"I miss you," she whispered.

_I know. I wish I could be there Sam. I wish I could hold you. _

Her shoulders shook as a fresh wave of tears overtook her. "I wish that too," she choked out.

_You are the strongest person I know. I know It's hard now, but it will get easier._

"How am I supposed to live without you Jack?"

_You have to live your life, one day at a time Sam. I want you to be happy._

She shook her head.

_Sam… Do I have to make it an order?_

She smiled through her tears. "I love you Jack. I'll always love you," she whispered.

_I love you too. Sam, you have to be strong now. I need to know that you're going to be okay. It's important. For the baby._

Sam gasped, her hand going to her stomach. "Am I?"

_Yes sweetheart._

"How?"

_Well…_

Sam smiled. "I know how smart ass," she said, she could almost feel his smile at her words.

_Promise me Sam. Promise me that you're going to be okay._

"I promise Jack," she said wiping the tears from her face.

"Sam?" Daniels voice called, a light knock sounding on the door before it opened.

Sam woke with a start, when had she fallen asleep? She looked up at Daniel, taking in his worried expression, Jack's letter clutched tightly in her hands.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Sam gave him a small smile. "I'm okay Daniel," she said getting to her feet. "I'll be out in a minute," she promised.

Daniel nodded and pulled the door shut behind him. Sam went to the closet, pulling the door open. She pulled out one of Jack's shirts and held it to her nose, breathing deeply. She slid his shirt on, immediately feeling him surround her, the warmth of him filling her with a sense of peace.

She felt tears well in her eyes as she placed her hand lightly on her stomach. "We're going to be just fine."

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The End


End file.
